It’s the bye week for the Steelers, which means you’re going to have to fill an empty three hours in your weekend. Should you do it by spending meaningful time with friends and family? Of course not. There’s other time-killing sports-y stuff you can do.
10. Watch the Astros’ championship parade
Do you hate your life? Super. Get ready to hate it even more:
The world champion Astros featured clutch performances from former Pirates Charlie Morton and Francisco Liriano in their Game 7 win. Their victory parade will be Friday afternoon. Give it a sad watch while pondering why the Pirates front office did absolutely nothing to improve a 98-win team.
9. Go to a high school football game
How much are you going to miss the Steelers playing football this week? (Pitt is also off Saturday, by the way.) A lot? Like so much you’re willing to watch teenagers you’ve never met play football? Then good news for you: WPIAL playoffs start Friday night. Here’s the full schedule.
8. Actually play sports … of your own … outside
— JuJu Smith-Schuster (@TeamJuJu) November 1, 2017
Go for a run. Play golf. Break out the street hockey equipment in your driveway.
Saturday is supposed to be in the 50s and only mostly cloudy, making it perhaps the last day of partial sun in Pittsburgh until May. Hashtag: Blessed.
And the obvious best bet for outdoor, physical activity? Going for a bike ride. You just might be lucky enough to come across JuJu Smith-Schuster, Pittsburgh’s greatest bike enthusiast since Ben Roethlisberger. (Please wear a helmet. No, not you. I mean JuJu. I don’t care about you.)
7. Get some holiday shopping done
The Steelers aren’t playing this week, but you can still buy Steelers stuff for your friends and family. But make sure to get them the Steelers jersey that best fits them:
- Is the person also a Pitt fan? You’ll want to get him or her a James Conner jersey.
- Is the person a Trump voter*? You’ll want to get him or her an Alejandro Villanueva jersey.
(*Specifically, a Trump voter who didn’t listen to anything Villanueva said after the Steelers anthem fiasco)
- Does the person like prank gifts, and do you have a lot of disposable income? Then you’ll want to buy them a Martavis Bryant jersey.
- Is the person your white uncle? Then you’ll want to get him his tenth Heath Miller jersey.
6. Watch Pitt play Slippery Rock in basketball
Pitt plays Slippery Rock in an exhibition game at 2 p.m. Saturday at the Petersen Events Center. Slippery Rock is a Division II program. Does Pitt have any chance to beat them? That is a serious question.
5. Take in some college hockey action
Did you know Pittsburgh has a Division I college hockey team? It’s true. Well, sort of true. Moon Township actually has a Division I hockey team. The Colonials have home games against Holy Cross this weekend. With the Penguins on the road, Robert Morris is the iciest game in town.
4. Go see Pitt’s women’s volleyball team in action
The Panthers are 17-6 on the season and welcome Miami and Florida State to Fitzgerald Field House this weekend. Pitt is currently just outside the Top 25, but those 17 wins will surely get them into a volleyball bowl game/match, right?
3. Tour PNC Park
The Pirates offer offseason tours of PNC Park the first Saturday of each month in the offseason. Guess what this Saturday is? You guessed it: the first Saturday of the month. You can book a tour here. Be sure to ask your tour guide why the Pirates front office did absolutely nothing to improve a 98-win team.
2. Stay up late to watch the Penguins
The Penguins wrap up their five-game road trip Saturday night in Vancouver against Jayson Megna, Derrick Pouliot, Brandon Sutter and the Canucks. Puck drop is at 10 p.m. For all the hand-wringing over the Penguins’ start to the season, Saturday night’s game will be their 10th road game in 13 games. And so far in that string they’re 7-4-0. Things could be a lot worse. The Penguins could not be back-to-back Stanley Cup champions, for example.
1. Get some sleep
Did someone tell you to stay up until 1 a.m. watching an early November hockey game, like, one paragraph ago? That person sounds like a jerk.
But I’m nice, so here is some good news: Clocks turn back at 2 a.m. Sunday. So you’ll get some extra sleep and, best of all, you’ll sleep soundly knowing that no matter what happens this Sunday, the Steelers will still have a comfortable lead in the AFC North.