Summer in the ‘Burgh

12 funny boat names spotted on Pittsburgh’s three rivers


boat collage
Rossilynne Culgan / The Incline
Rossilynne Culgan

Every summer, boaters flock to Pittsburgh’s three rivers, and there are always a few boat names worth a chuckle.

Naming a water vessel, it seems, is a big deal. It’s an act of tradition and, according to Esurance, it’s a legal requirement. While some boaters go a more traditional route, there are a few jokesters who take their boat name to the next level.

So this year, we set out to the North Shore to find some of the funniest, punniest, lol-worthiest boat names. Here are a dozen that made us laugh.


Rossilynne Culgan / The Incline

Dear God, why?

Dear god, why?
Rossilynne Culgan / The Incline

As the saying goes: The happiest days with a boat are the day you buy it and the day you sell it.

As the old saying goes: The happiest days with a boat are the day you buy it and the day you sell it.
Rossilynne Culgan / The Incline

It’s not a regular boat. It’s a cool boat.

It's not a regular boat. It's a cool boat.
Rossilynne Culgan / The Incline

A very no-nonsense kind of boat.

Rossilynne Culgan / The Incline

Take me to your leader.

Rossilynne Culgan / The Incline


Rossilynne Culgan / The Incline

More puns.

Rossilynne Culgan / The Incline

Sponsor this boat, Absolut Vodka.

Rossilynne Culgan / The Incline

We can only assume that this boat’s stereo plays only Naughty by Nature.

We can only assume that this boat's stereo plays only Naughty by Nature.
Rossilynne Culgan / The Incline

Not to be confused with “His” Hot Rod House.

Rossilynne Culgan / The Incline

Inspired by Amazon Prime.

Rossilynne Culgan / The Incline

Want some more? Explore other Summer in the ‘Burgh stories.

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